When you read the question “What’s the truth behind your weight?” you automatically start rattling off excuses about you being too big because you hate the gym, or too small because you’re so busy running around that you forget to eat.

Those are perfectly fine answers, but when I ask for the truth, I mean something like this…
The other day a friend and I were lamenting about our fitness goals or lack there of, when she made an admission that I think startled even her. She said that the reason she thinks she put on weight was because it kept men from paying attention to her.

See when she was younger she was harassed by older men in her neighborhood who complemented her young and still developing body. Never mind that these men could’ve been her father or grandfather, all they saw was a sexual object and she in turn grew to resent it. Subconsciously, as a way to advert their eyes she put on weight.

The more weight she put on, the less they harassed her. Seemed logical at the time, but now as a grown woman she struggles to find a place where she is comfortable in her own skin and sexuality to not use food as a repellent.

That is her truth.

Listening to her story filled me with emotion, not only because I can 1000% relate on all levels, but because it got me to thinking about what my own truth would be. So often we think of weight in terms of physical activity or beauty, but we often forget the psychological aspects of it.

How are we mentally carrying our weight and what role does it play in our healthy living journey? Maybe if we all took a moment to find our own truths, the path to healthy living will take a physical and mental weight off our shoulders.

So, what’s your truth?

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  1. Wow, thanks for this post! I would say that is partially my truth. I developed very early and very fast. Started around 9, and finished by 13/14. I got all kinds of unwanted attention from older guys and older grown men. At the same time I had so many people in my family telling me I was fat, because of my development. Those comments hurt a lot because there was an accusatory nature to them, as well as comparative-they’d point to other family members and friends who they thought I should look like figure wise. I didn’t want to show I was hurt so instead I reacted angrily and spitefully, by eating a lot. But then I would feel too self-conscious to really be active and yada yada yada! Thanks again for the article.

  2. Thank you for this post. I am actually experiencing the contrary. As a black young woman with curves and what others would call a noticeable behind, I was/am getting a lot of unwanted and negative attention with regards to this part of my body. The level of daily comments and micro-agressions in the street is insulting to me and made me feel like I was diminished and shrunk to that sole part of my body. And that’s the main reason why I started loosing weight and working out: I wanted to disappear. I wanted to have that figure that would not turn heads, that would not be an invitation for harassment from every single black/latino man in my city. And I am aware that in our culture, it is considered a “good” thing and that being complimented on your curves should be something a woman should be proud of but not to me. And every single woman out there that has experience street harassment will agree with that: being objectified and diminished to an “attractive” body does nothing for the self-esteem. And no, it is not a compliment. And no I will not smile and say “Thank you for noticing me”.

  3. Wow, Kelly Lebroc comes to mind, because I think she gained weight to ward off men as well back in the day.
    Alot of men disgust men esp those who are totally carnal minded and alot of times I don’t want to be bothered either , stared at, cat called etc , but I am not going to lose or gain weight based on the trfling ignorace of others. What I am going to do is keep my fitness game tight because it is important to me, maintaining a certain level of fitness where I feel my personal best for me. Not to mention the stress relief and many other health benefits of staying fit as you age.

  4. I knew when I was pregnant that I would have to watch hat I ate, but I split right into obesity after I loved being catered to by my husband. He wasn’t privy to pregnancy cravings so I abused this luxury since he was so willing to get me whatever I wanted just to comfort me.

    I knew after I had the child and my body didn’t bounce back (even after breast feeding and exercising) I humbled myself and admitted and apologized to my spouse that I abused his kindness and that I’d need his help to get back to the shape that made him want to get me pregnant. It was such a long process but now I feel wonderful and I’d never do that to body ever again

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