Swallowing! The greatest, most powerful ten to fifteen seconds of three minute exercise for man. What a payoff that, honestly, rarely happens to mere-mortals such as myself. Men insist that semen is a nutritious, well-balanced meal, but most cognizant partners aren’t buying what their horny mates are selling.
Jezebel found a comprehensive breakdown of a myriad of jizz samples over a fifty years. The numbers that follow are rough averages based on a study of the physical and chemical properties of semen — published in a 2005 issue of the Journal of Andrology.
There are apparently all kinds of myths surrounding the composition of men’s coconut milk, but one of the main lies men spread about their unborn kids is the amount of protein available in one ejaculation. Take a look at this breakdown:
However, a typical ejaculation — with an average volume of 3.4 ml — contains less than 1 calorie. Just like Diet Coke! This calorie count of semen was calculated using the “4-4-9” formula of macronutrients (in which there’s 4 calories per gram of protein, 4 calories per gram of carbs, and 9 calories per gram of fat).
With all that healthy fat and protein, semen could be considered a tenable post-workout snack. Too bad most men won’t watch their balls well enough to ever find out if their partner wants to add their au-natural milk to a smoothie or swallow it raw.