In a recently conducted study researchers found that more young people between the ages of 20-24 engage in oral sex before having actual intercourse.  The study stats show that 26 percent of females had oral sex first, while 27 percent had intercourse first. Conversely, 24 percent of males had oral sex first, while the same percentage had intercourse first.  As for the future of our nation, our teens, they seem to be completely clueless to the potential dangers of oral sex.  According to a national survey conducted for The Kaiser Family Foundation, 26 percent of sexually active teens between 15 and 17 responded that one “cannot become infected with HIV by having unprotected oral sex,” and an additional 15 percent didn’t know whether or not one could become infected in that manner.

In this day and age?  Really?!

Geoffrey Michaelson, a psychologist who specializes in sexuality, had his own theory as to why teens and young adults seem to be engaging in this risky behavior at a higher rate than most:

 “In our culture, there was a time when the president suggested that oral sex wasn’t sex, and that is still with us, to some degree.  Intercourse, frankly, is considered more intimate, the last step in the baseball analogy. There is a whole mystique about what is OK and what is not OK, but it’s all self-delusion. From my point of view, any exchange of body fluid, touching, fondling or arousal, that is sex.”


While I couldn’t agree with Mr. Michaelson more, I had to wonder why the research was limited to this particular age group.  I personally know plenty of grown a*s men and women who believe the exact same thing.  I can’t tell you how many girlfriends will do “everything but” with a guy and feel that that’s safer than having sex and possibly ending up pregnant.  How many guys I know that will engage in, to quote Trina Braxton, oral transactions with females not even considering that her lady parts might be ablaze, and not with desire.  Mind you, these are not uneducated individuals who don’t follow the news and see/hear all the alarming STD/HIV stats, yet they foolishly believe that oral sex isn’t sex sex.  Most were taught that if it’s not actual vagina/penis penetration, it doesn’t count.  And nothing you say will change their minds.  I’ve brought up the risk of catching STDs in your mouth, I’ve even shown a few of them a movie Lifetime TV did years ago called She’s Too Young (a movie I bought for my younger sis by the way), in which a teen catches syphilis in her mouth not having “sex sex”.  Still, nothing.

It makes me wonder, if these educated, successful people can fall prey to this warped thought process, then what hope is there for the stats on our youth to change…we’re the ones teaching them.  If we don’t know or stress the importance of keeping your legs and your mouth closed, how will they get the info they need to know and do better?  Maybe the rest of us are wrong and oral sex with damn near anyone is okay and the stats are wrong?  But something in me says that thought is far from the truth.

around the web


  1. yes, oral sex is very much actual sex. you’re just using different parts of your body to engage in sexual pleasure.

  2. Yes, I don’t subscribed to the “anything but…” theory either sex is sex whether it’s vaginal, oral, anal, self loving etc. Sex is so misunderstood hell I side eye women claiming virginal status but do everything under the sun sexually but intercourse

  3. “If we don’t know or stress the importance of keeping your legs and your mouth closed, how will they get the info they need to know and do better?”

    Yes, I agree educating people is important, however it’s not about keeping your legs and your mouth closed, that’s a bit extreme. Getting informed, getting tested and communicating with your partner/s prior to engaging in potentially harmful activities is a wise thing to do in order for you to be able to continue enjoying sex while avoiding health risks and it is a long term solution.

  4. No exactly bc to me both persons have to give and recieve at the same time for it to be considered sex. Oral is a sex act but not sex to me. If using your mouth is sex then so is using your fingers.

  5. Why is ‘sex’ in the name of it, if it’s not sex? Do you know what pornea is? It’s a Greek word used by the Apostle Paul. It involves every form of sex that is not between a husband and wife, as well as various forms that can be performed by them. However, the latter are what he cautioned us against. Two of the forms included in that word are anal and oral. No true Christian couple, let alone, single person, would be fooled into thinking it’s not sex. Don’t follow the crowd. Jesus said the on are the ‘broad road to destruction.”–I don’t just read The Word, I study and apply it.

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