I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach late Saturday evening as headlines regarding reality star Evelyn Lozada and Miami Dolphins player Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson flashed across my phone. “Chad Arrested For Hurting Evelyn,” one read. “Chad In Jail For Head Butting Evelyn.” another one alleged. I scrolled through my twitter timeline and saw snarky comments about Lozada from a few young women. “She probably deserved it, she’s always hitting someone, I bet she hit him,” one tweeter said. “She ruined his life!” another twitter user expressed. “Chad is another example of “Evelyn is mad over a box of condoms when she gave him permission to go out and get them,” another one stated.
It is true, Lozada did in fact give her husband somewhat permission to sleep with other women, as long as he kept it “one hundred.”
Still, no matter what the issue or what she said, that doesn’t give Johnson or any other man the right to ever put his hands on a woman. As I continued staying updated on social media sites I couldn’t help but notice the negativity that was flying Lozada’s way as many others “taunted” her that it was “karma” and that she was getting exactly what she deserved. Eric Williams, ex-husband of former Basketball Wife Jennifer Williams even got in on the action making fun of Lozada’s alleged bruises. Funny man Tracy Morgan got in on the action too, exclaiming “Chad Johnson is just another victim of a life being ruined by saving a hoe… Kanye you next!”
Many laughed at the statements from these celebrities weighing in, but I didn’t find it funny. Perhaps what saddened me most was how quickly I saw more people jump to Johnson’s defense than Lozada’s. It reminded me of the many times over the years we’ve heard of “our” celebrities getting into domestic altercations and some blaming the women. During the early nineties Robin Givens was given a bad wrap by the black community for being a “gold digger” instead of sympathy for being a victim of domestic violence. In February of 2009 many accused (and still do) pop star Rihanna of provoking her then boyfriend Chris Brown to hit her because she was a “crazy Caribbean woman.”
Earlier this year Pilar Sanders, estranged wife of NFL great Deion Sanders was called, “crazy” and “dramatic” when she claimed that Sanders had abused her. And even more recently Love and Hip Hop Atlanta star K. Michelle is consistently called a hater by viewers, social media users and even Toya Wright for her out cry that she was abused by a former boyfriend who allegedly continues to act like nothing happened.
It’s sad, pathetic even that so many forget that these women are more than celebrities, they are human first. Have we lost all sense of humanity and sympathy when we’re so quick to make fun and point the finger at a woman being at fault for being abused because we don’t “like” their public persona’s. Has it really come to that? I sure hope not.
We live in an age of twenty-four-hour social media where our children and the generation after us are watching our every move. We’re teaching them to what to accept and what not too with our words and especially our actions. Although we can’t always stop them from reading vicious media headlines or from seeing cruel statements on Twitter, we can certainly start with teaching them that LOVE does NOT hurt and that you should always have sympathy for any woman that has been abused in any way.
Let’s do better, for not only ourselves, but for our babies too.
Eric’s comments are absolutely disgusting, nothing at all funny about them. Then again these comments are coming from a man who felt it was okay to throw a drink in his ex-wife’s face so I’m not surprised. I’m glad you brought up the topic of how “our” women are treated when they get into situations of domestic violence. “We” bitch and moan about how we are treated and portrayed, particularly women, yet when things like this happen “we” are our own worst enemies. How do we expect them to care about us when clearly we don’t care about ourselves.
#1, Chad and only Chad is responsible for his alleged abuse. #2 Women need to know their worth. Who didn’t know 7 months ago, that Chad was a clown and that Evelyn would have been better off dealing with Evelyn and her issues before seeking a non toxic relationship? Why is it that women feel like the just HAVE to be married? He told you he was going to cheat. You laughed about it on BBW and made light of it on Candy Coated Nights. He DID keep it 100. There are consequences to poor choices. There was NOTHING about Chad that suggested that he respected himself, let alone a woman.
@El: You said pretty much anything and everything that need to be said about this matter.
@El: Chad is not responsible for the actions of a jezebel who knew how to ruin his career much like she did with Antione Walker. He should not have hit her but I’m sure he was provoked beyond a reasonable point. It takes two to tangle. Always
@Frankie: Ummm… Chad and Antoine are responsible for THEIR careers. Those men aren’t zombies that were lulled into (financial) trouble by a woman.
Antoine Walker made poor business choices, blew through $110 million on fur coats and cars, and that’s why his washed-up ass has to play ball in Puerto RIco rather than retire comfortably like a responsible adult.
@EssDot323: Sorry but a real woman stands behind her man, especially when said man has a career. She has destroyed a man’s life and for what. Chad is responsible for keeping his cool but who knows what was said or done but one thing is for certain, you don’t destroy money over fame.
@El: Have you SEEN Basketball Wives?! Evelyn is very violent. In season 4 alone, she threw a wine bottle and a plate at someone (but missed. If not, she’d be in jail right now.). She also jumped over a table in an attempt to attack her ex-best friend, Jennifer.
I don’t condone domestic violence at all but I believe society is too quick to jump to the defense of the woman. How do we know she didn’t headbutt Chad? She’s the one with the cut on her forehead. How did it get there? Did Chad headbutt her head?
If she’s a victim, then, yes the law should be on her side. However, I HIGHLY doubt she is. If she didn’t headbutt Chad, I’m sure she hit him or provoked him in some other way. The woman is unstable. And I have to admit I feel less sympathy for her than I would feel for any other woman in this situation because she is a big bully and additionally, she knew all too well the kind of man Chad was before she married him (a cheat). So why was she so mad about the box of condoms?
lI agree with most of this statement except no.1 Why? Because we don’t know exactly who ia telling the truh. What we are sure of is chad and Evelyns track history. Both are violent people. In the end its possible that Evelyn was feeling herself and threw a few blows (punches) and Ochocinco retaliated, hence the ‘head butt’. NO ONE KNOWS! What we do know is things became too real and she ran to call the police, something she said herself that ‘YOU JUST DONT DO..’ where she’s from. ???? I agree with many too that violence should not be inflicted against ANYONE POINT BLANK!!!!!! If it is not karma what happed to her then what is? When Karma comes back to bite you in the ass it doesnt ask “HOW YOU WANT THIS”? It is what it is. It is written that you do unto others as you want them do unto you!
As far as I’m concerned they both got what they put out into the atmosphere…drama, pure negative energy and it caught up with them both. And for those women who support and idolize people like Evelyn and Tammy need to get their heads checked. Cause obviously they themselves believe its appropriate behaviour to be loud and obnoxious as women.
My intial comment was directed @ El
@El: I like your respons its true and the sad thing about it is all this is happening for a reason…I find it pitty to telll a man you have my permission to sleep with other women and then get angry when he does…I am against violence period, so i dont feel for eveln because she is violent..I’ve never heard anything about chad be violent so im confussed why would he head butt her when she is the one that violent..He could loose everything all evelyn loosing is a tv show and a little dignity…I’m done with these show that degrate women and relationship and tear families apart…The things we do to please the WORLD…
I don’t think people are defending him. I just think people know there is more to the story than what Evelyn is telling. This woman sat on tv and said ” we don’t all the cops where I’m from you just take a beating”. This woman is constantly trying to fight people and acting out. All I’m saying is head butting sounds weird. Nine times of of ten she found the condoms started swinging at chad, chad tried to get her off of him there tying to get off of each other and bump heads, he has a big head and if two people are heated running and one is trying to get away someone could accidentally get hurt. I was play fighting with my little brother and he accidentally head butted me nd gave me a black eye.
It’s not that no one wants her to ” get hurt” but let’s not act like she’s innocent. she portrayed herself one way on tv now it’s coming to bite her in the tail. If anything ppl are laughing at Chad for getting with her and getting into this mess. No woman deserves to be hit on by a man but as a woman you should also keep your hands to yourself. There’s still more details that people don’t know about and we haven’t seen any pictures. Evelyn will probably get back with him. If he truly did try to hurt her then I hope she leaves.
@Smilez_920: @Smilez_920 I have not read a story yet where it says that either one of them was running. Every account I have read says that they were sitting in the car.
“she portrayed herself one way on tv now it’s coming to bite her in the tail.”–getting into physical altercations with women who you feel have disrespected you is unacceptable I agree but getting physically abused by a man is not karma. Her actions toward other women who are 5’3 and wearing heels and her actions toward a man that she is in a relationship with can be two completely different things.
People do not treat ALL people the same and to say that because she has been beyond rude to some women so now she is getting what she deserves by being physically abused by a man makes you an inhumane person at least.
@Smilez_920: I love it.. thank you you hit it on the nose ive read it over again and i dont need to respond you did..
I don’t know if people are bashing her unfairly or if they see it as karma. This is a woman who we watched week after week start fights, threaten, and even throw bottles at people. She degraded herself and others. She believed that someone “deserved a beatdown” if they “lied” on her or talked behind her back. She is a bully. Does that mean she deserved to be hit? NO. However, it also means that the people she hit didn’t deserve it either. Why should it be different? Just because he’s a man? If we teach our little boys not to put their hands on a woman, then we need to teach our little girls that same thing.
@EssDot323: I also disgree with with this article and agree with Gabriella and several others who responded. Even though we all knew that Chad is a womanizer, we also Evelyn is a bully! She has literally tormented anyone who did not agree with! Evelyn and Tammy in my opinion deserves anything they get.
They honestly they had the right to pass jugement and abuse anyone they wanted and always resorted to violence whether is was physical or verbal. So, to the person who wrote this article that many of us, including me boycotted Basketball Wives because we did not appreciate or support the image that Evelyn or Tammy portrayed
of women of color. They disrepected women, their race and themselves. I think it is about time that that ole cliche’s that states so clearly, “what goes around….comes around.”
Thank you Gabriella! when we see people acting foul, people always say, that said person needs to have that same effed up behavior done back to them. Likewise, Evelyn is a physically abusive bully and finally met her match. I have NO sympathy for her.
@Gabriella: 1+ and hitting the “like” button if there was one. It’s never right for anyone to put hands on anyone, but this is karma is ways…. Especially when she made fun of the Gloria and Matt Barnes DV incident. I’m also sure the Evelyn knew about Chad’s previous DV charge from when he was in college. He never should have laid a hand on her (and from the police report they’re both saying the other did it, so it’s still unclear), but we need to think about what we say and do along with valuing ourselves. Instead of worry about who was and wasn’t in the circle, she could have been figuring out her worth and direction.
@Gabriella: AMEN! I wouldn’t wish domestic violence on anyone but it is kind of hard to drum up sympathy for someone who was an bully (both verbally and physically) to others on national TV. Yeah it sucks that it happened but it sucked watching her do that to other women too. She is in a catch 22, as the old adage goes… that is like giving sympathy for the devil. And Chad is not exempt from criticism either. And though Eric was wrong I can see where he is coming from let’s not forget that this woman found a way to wedge herself in her supposedly BFF’s marriage and was talking freely about Eric and badmouthing him as if he was HER husband. So yeah he was wrong but he wasn’t exactly out of pocket.
“However, it also means that the people she hit didn’t deserve it either. Why should it be different? Just because he’s a man? If we teach our little boys not to put their hands on a woman, then we need to teach our little girls that same thing.”
ok the people she hit did not deserve to be hit either. Fair. But yes, it should be different because he is a man. It is foolish to say that domestic violence is wrong then condone it or accept it or justify it as karma when it is done to a woman who engages in violence with other WOMEN. There is a difference from being in a fight with someone of your own sex who you feel has wronged you. Perhaps, you have never been in a fight in your life and this is a concept that you simply cannot grasp.
However, maybe you would feel different if you got into a physical altercation at work (no matter how unlikely it would be) and you went home and your husband slapped you in the face. Is it karma then? You did something mean to someone so the man that you love body slammed you to the ground. Are you just getting what you deserved?
Whether it is men abusing women or women abusing men domestic violence is unacceptable. Period.
@Reonna: @TG: Now I know that this is going to go unnoticed by many on here especially those who posted earlier. However, what I think most of you are missing is that women who feels they are tuff as nails and slicker than rocks comes off as an oxymoron. Evelyn in all sense is an aggressive person, she portrays it’s on national tv for all to see, so yes it become unbelievable to conceive that she was all sweet and demuor and Chad wall off and head butted her. Like someone else said it is more conceivable that she was aggressively pursuing him, I’m just saying. I’m with the consensus there should a no tolerance for men abusing women, there are some men that are controlling and angry for no reason and these women are the victims of that such anger. However, I really think that most women who where abuses would find it very offensive that you would put Evelyn in such category given her persona and position about abusing others. It’s like someone throwing rocks at a lyon and crying foul when the Lyon gets up and chase them down.
I totally agree with you. What TG and Reonna clearly fails to understand is the fact that Evelyn has been the initial Agressor in her escapades on the reality show. If a person says something you dont like there ia no need to jump on tables and throw things. She carried herself like an untamed animal, an alley cat. If someone threatens your life and you defend yourself and go home and is slapped by someone you love unprovoked is abuse. Know the difference!!!! Fucking with people and purposely going out of your way to hit and abuse others and then going home and getting headbutted from your loved one unprovoked IS Karma! Lesson Learned.@Get real please:
I have never heard of a bully receiving sympathy after receiving his/her comeuppance. Of course, I don’t advocate domestic violence of any kind, and this case is no exception. But I don’t feel one iota of sympathy for Evelyn because she is a bully, documented and proud of it. I also feel that it may be a bit of staging for whichever reality series is about to start., and I’m sure I’m not the only person that thinks this. Finally, as for Chad hurting a female – he’s already suffering the consequences in lost position and pressed charges – justice has and will be served.
Thank you Endurance!
This opinion article is very poorly written since you dont include the background history of these two subjects. Your point is way too broad…It should have never been published as opinion. You should have stated the facts and left your opion to yourself. especially since you presented your position so poorly……Be more responsible with your writing or you just become part of the problem…..
Absolutely agree!!!@Jerry Beeks:
@Jerry Beeks: Just because your opinion may be different from the writers does not mean that the writer was not responsible with her writing and did not present her point correctly.
There are crazy women who will claim abuse when nothing could be further from the truth. I know this because an ex claimed that I had physically abused her and if not for having witnesses in the house on the day and time alleged, I too may have been arrested. Her sole purpose was to embarrass me and to get me arrested. Luckily my attorneys and the Judge saw right through her attempts and saw fit to request, issue a restraining order and ultimately dismiss the charges. Chad should cut off all communication, sever all ties, close all financial accounts, get a restraining order and get that marriage annulled due to fraud.
I have also seen a person serve prison time for alleged abuse because he refused to admit to something that he did not do. Only after the case was reopened and the alleged victim was questioned again did she recant the allegation of abuse after the person had to serve two years in state prison. Her excuse for making the allegation, “she loved him.”
@Mark: I totally agree with you. I’ve been in a relationship with a woman who would constantly put her hands on me simply b/c I was a man who wouldn’t do anything. One day she tried to charge me as I was trying to leave and was forced to protect myself just to get to the door and leave. So I’m kinda on the fence on the whole situation. The thing is I don’t condone abuse, but I don’t condone letting yourself get beat up either
I personally don’t think she lied about the incident, especially if she has the bruises to prove it. I dont think we should be fostering a culture of approving violence towards women. It’s really sad that anyone would take his side in this situation. Coming out of an abusive relationship myself…most women who fear for their lives call the police or run away from the environment that there in – so I’m sure that if it got out of hand…she did what she had to do. Even if she knew who he was…no man has the right to abuse a woman. He has to face the consequences with the actions he has taken. I think she should take this as a life lesson to pay attention to the character of the man who she decides to start a relationoship with, because a man’s character seldom changes over night.
@I hope this is a wake up call for her to leave the marriage: I would suggest that you watch an episode of BBW or at least watch some clips on YouTube just to get an idea of the kind of woman Evelyn is.
@La Fille: She does not just beat up random people on the street. From what is portrayed on BBW she is not outlandish with the man. Yes, she has had terrible altercations with other women but that does NOT justify getting hit by a man. People do not treat everyone the same. I’m sure you have popped off with one person but would not dare pull that shit with someone else.
@TG: I guess my comment was unclear. I’m not saying that her personality justifies her getting hit (no one deserves to get beat up). What I’m saying is it’s just as likely that she was the one who attacked him first.
And no, I wouldn’t know anything about fighting because I haven’t done that since I was like 8 years old. People aren’t supposed to settle arguments by fighting.
A group of youngsters where driving crazy; swerving in an out of traffic. Tailgating and blasting their loud ghetto crap music. Ha! Ha! if they ignent azzes didn’t crash into a pole. Everyone they pissed off along the way politely drove pass them. No one cared if they were injured or dead.
When you are heartless and ignorant…..PLUS ghetto……….you turn honest decent folks like me into Iceberg Slm: “hoe you better walk yo azz to the emergency room. I ain’t got gas 4 u and yo’ drama.”
@veggiechick: You sound so “ignent”. This is the most “ignent” thing I’ve read this morning. You completely destroyed any possibility of me taking your opinion seriously.
There isn’t much sympathy from Evelyn because well..she’s simply an unlikeable person. Negative, selfish, catty, and a bully. Those kind of people generally do not garner much sympathy from the public audience. Not to say that makes her deserving of what happened this weekend because it does not. It was an unfortunate situation all across the board. But Frankly I’m indifferent about her state of being. As long as she is alive and not permanently injured in anyway I’m “like..whatever” as Jen would say.
Way too much sympathy for a woman who has chose to build her image/brand based on violence and being attached to a baller. I will never condone violence against women. But please, to put Evelyn who stated that her ex-BFF should be assaulted and deal with it because ‘it’s not that serious’, and whom she laughed at when she wanted to press charges, in the same boat as other abuse victims, is insulting to those real victims. For all we know, this could’ve been a reality scene gone too far– since Ev does everything for attention!
@T.Marie: ^ Agreed!!! It’s hard to have sympathy for a woman that is known for being violent and aggressive towards others jumping on tables, throwing objects, threatening etc. Evelyn-> #uaintboutthatlifeboo
It’s hard to have sympathy for a woman that makes it her duty to bully others, put hands on others, and chastise others for using the law when need be.
Hopefully she’s learned that violence is not the solution… no matter the situation.
I SECOND THAT!!!!@Keli:
I think Evelyn has a rep for being the first to hit and i find it hard to believe that he head butt her. I saw problems with the couple before they wed. And she has a temper and throws tantrums,,,,,,Don’t think we are getting the whole story!!!
I just wanna see a photo of her head after the butt,lol I could care less about these attention seeking boring celebs.
Both are the blame for not really allowing time to know each other. It’s a celebrities thing
As I said before, this should NOT be getting the kind of media attention that it is being given. I feel like Evelyn is using it as an opportunity to stay relevant. Nonetheless, Chad is a dumbass. I knew that before, and after. And regardless of how it all went down, this media circus portrayal of the situation is desensitizing the subject to society to the point where real life victims may not be able to get the help needed.
With the majority of domestic violence victims, they are often ashamed and scared to the point where they don’t want to publicize or acknowledge the violence at hand. I’ve seen it with family, friends, and the women I used to volunteer with at shelters. Yes, Chad was in the wrong for head butting her, there’s no way around that, but Evelyn should not be playing into this media frenzy, and instead needs to stay out of the public spotlight, and not make a spectacle out of it.
Reality television has completely ruined society.
Where was the support when Evelyn and Tami was victimizing others on BBW? I do not see her as the victim in this situation. She (Evelyn) has a history of violence just watch the show in which one young lady could have actually lost her life via a wine bottle. Whatever she got it was deserving and maybe she will change her nasty ways. Chad knew she was a monster before he married her, so whatever he is getting is also deserving as well. This couple deserve no media coverage on this subject matter, just let the courts handle both in which again Chad has enough evidence from BBW to use in court against her. Both are in need of counseling and Anger Management.
Just another example of a woman going after what she considers to be a hot wealthy guy..overlooking the fact that he messes around with other woman, trying to be all cool, and thinking shes special because he married her…and then trying to change him!! Probably constantly blowing up at him like shes a man, trying to take him on..Woman have no right to do that ..I dont condone what he did..but she has no right to think she can take charge of someone else’s life..he was honest about who he was and what he does, if she dont like it Leave…dont find him till the end…your always going to lose, Your not a man!
oops I meant don’t fight him FIGHT him till the end!!
Absolutely do not condone domestic violence, so I almost feel ashamed for not caring about what happened to her. Having seen basketball wives, this was going to happen sooner or later. Neither one is an exemplary member of society. She is extremely violent, so it is very hard to feel any sympathy for her and as you all pointed out, she has bullied so many people on the show. Maybe she should have listened to Jen when she talked about his character. Look how much they have both lost. Sadly, she has a daughter. Hopefully this young lady has learned how not to conduct herself!
i dont watch the show so i’m not familiar with evelyn and her antics but i do know that it doesn’t matter. Grown men fight each other, swing it out and let it be, grown women fight each other, swing it out and let it be, because they are in the same class. Chad is Twice her size and solid muscle, it’s not a fair fight. it seems that in the black community the victim is always blamed, esp if the victim is a woman. y do we feel we owe men more loyalty than our fellow woman? Is this what we want to teach our daughters? ” if a man hits you, suck it up you deserved it?’ we are our own worst enemies, so wat she gave him permission to cheat as long as he was honest abt, so it seems that he wasn’t being honest with even with permission, hell i’d be mad too! the cameras didint capture all their relationship, she could have very well renigged on her prior stance and we not know it, but none of that is even relevant because once again SHE DIDN’T DESERVE FOR 6 FT + 200 + LB NEGRO TO HURT HER
You are seriously ignorant. So i guess children have a right to hit and bully other children seeing that they are in the same class?!
No one deserves to be abused , How ever we dont know the story behing what happend so judgement should not be made. I have seen women hit men and see nothing wrong with it . Why do some women like to cry the victum when the know the man is stronger than they are and could damage them sevearly , yet they still choose to hit or use violence towards these men and expect the response to be oh i wont hit a girl . i feel that is wrong and it is taking advantage of the male gender. If its just words exchanged then no he has no right to hit her but if she threw a blow or two i say hit her back maybe she will think twice before she does it again. My mom always told my sisters “No man has the right to hit you , but in that same way of thinking you have no right to hit him and if you hit a man then you have the right to recive a man blow right back ” We are quick to call the man the bad one then if the shoe is on the other feet and a woman abuses a man physically he is then calls everything but a man even a sissy . The men cant win and will always be fighting a loosing battle when it comes to that area , before we cast judgement lets find out the facts . .
Oh Mia. Pleeezzzzz. When women are truly abused, & it is clear who the abuser is, the woman should get sympathy. However, in THIS case, who is the one with the long-term record of abuse, violent behavior, a raging temper?? It is EVELYN!! Chad has NEVER had a single complaint against him. No offences. He has always appeared to have a gentle countenance. Married to that publicity whore for 1 month & he is arrested, thrown in jail, accused of abuse, fired from his job with the NFL & TV career. All because Evelyn got pissed he had condoms. Big deal. SHE told him to use them! We don’t know who the abuser is here for sure. However, history makes it pretty clear who the probable abuser is. Although I AM a woman, I am siding with Chad on this one. Evelyn should have been jailed long ago for her violent & raging behavior.
Agreed!!! Cant stand that ‘hood-rat’ and her cohorts. She needs to change her bad attitude and it goes double for that spiteful tyrant Tammy.
@krockster44: Actually, he has been accused and convicted of abuse in the past. He slapped his former college girlfriend, and was required to attend a Domestic Violence Batterer’s Treatment Program or a little under a year, from April 2001 to June 2002.
To ALL I know CHAD personally…I know his brother and the I know the mother of Chad’s children (well at least one of them)…and I’m going to tell you YES he is a character but by NO means does he hit women. NO one wanted him to marry her but he is a grown man and you have to let adults make their own decisions. I don’t condone domestic violence BUT I have met Evelyn and she is fiesty she says what she has and what she can get…that’s all fine and good but she can’t and will not find love with that attitude….Chad’s grandmother raised him and trust me she didn’t play so I know what happened was provoked and she should take responsibilty for that but HE also should have walked away. THE END
I’m not gone say I don’t like her cos I don’t know her personally me myself once I notice a man that tend to have flashes sometime he’s good but the bad part of him outweigh the good part of him–he got to go. I don’t even want to fall in love with him .I know eve did alot of that stuff on the show just 4 rating I’m not stupid in she married before– a man with money then again who want to marry a broke dude how can he help the family-I could never hate anyone that I don’t know personally –I like chad but I don’t want him something just don’t look right about him look in his eyes tell me what you see ?
Its a sad day when women think the violence handed to them from a man on ANY level is acceptable. Its even sadder when its black women. If I was reading this story on E! or TMZ the bloggers there (non African American) are very un-condoning of Chad actions just as they were with Chris Brown. Not my people. We defend Chad and are very critical and questioning the victim.
I have a daughter that I want to raise to know that violence is unacceptable. I have a son that I and his father, my husband, raise to understand that when a woman strikes or provokes you as a MAN (man child- he’s 12) you walk away. YOU WALK AWAY. YOU WALK AWAY. YOU WALK AWAY! It will never be ok to hit a woman no matter how classless she might be. YOU ARE A MAN, YOU WALK AWAY! What the ***** do you have to prove by attacking her? It just shows YOU are the weaker person.
The saddest part is when you work with women who are abused and see the pain they experience its most heartbreaking to think some how they deserved it on ANY level.
@s@xfamily: Violence from woman to woman should also be unacceptable…violence begats violence and this is a clear case of karma….
It’s never ok for a man to hit a woman? That’s bullshit and sets a dangerous precedent for women to believe that the men they terrorize will never retaliate. Maybe if women were afraid that a man would fight back they wouldn’t run roughshod over them. If there was ever a woman who deserved to get head-butted, it’s Evelyn Lozada.
I congratulate Chad for giving that woman a taste of her own medicine.
Chad lost his endorsements and a football contract. Apparently karma was handed down to him as well
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So the ‘author’ of this article has convicted Chad of assaulting Evelyn without any proof? Great journalism, you’ll go far. Lozada is just so believable that you automatically just take her word for it, even though he says something different happened? Tell me oh wise one, what makes her word more truthful than his? Or you know what happened because you were there. Get used to the word “alleged” until all the facts are in…that is if you aspire to be a true journalist, where you deal in FACTS.
I grew up being the only girl, in a neighborhood of 11 guys, and I’m glad I did, because I got to see first hand, how guys think. The biggest difference between men and women IMO, is simply, Men side with each other no matter what. Be it cheating, hitting (not all guys do but you get my point), they always stand up for each other. Women on the other hand, will turn on each other faster than two starving dogs fighting over the last bone. We always tend to blame the victim. ‘she had it coming’ ‘ she provoked him ‘ it goes on and on. Even when men cheat, who do we blame, the woman! (not the man who promised to always be honest with you). It’s truly sad that we’re in the 21st century, and STILL, this is the way we think. C’mon ladies, leave the men to muck about in the mud and try and remember, she could be your sister, your mother… hell, she could be you.
@sommer: The woman she hit and threw bottles at could also be my sister, mother, friend….she is a violent person….she needs help for her self on that level also.
I think the main thing to consider is Chad is innocent until proven guilty. I don’t advocate “jokes” about the alleged violence being her fault (although she is bought due for a butt whipn from a female who isn’t going to take her crap). The fact of the matter is, Chad has lost millions of dollars and he hasn’t even had a trial! And honestly, it very well may turn out to be true… that they both reached for the receipt and bumped heads. Who’s to say… they were the only ones there! She’s dramatic, hot tempered and quick to make a big deal out of everything. Therefore, she could have been extremely upset and when they bumped heads… from her view it was an attack. Either way the man’s career in in severe jeopardy and he hasn’t even had his day in court.
@Mia Fields-Hall I say this with all due respect as a woman… I agree with your advocacy in regards to saying it’s not cool to joke about domestic violence, but your article sounded overtly accusatory in nature and once again Johnson hasn’t been found guilty of anything.
Okay. Wait. If I’m reading the lot of these comments correctly. It’s okay for Evelyn to be a bully to other women, but it’s NOT okay for a man to bully her? Because he’s a man? And she’s a women? Man on man abuse is okay. Woman on woman abuse is okay. A woman abusing a man is okay, but when a man abuses a woman it’s not okay? I’m confused. Last I checked, violence is violence is violence no matter where it’s coming from. You can’t have it both ways. Or be cool with violence when it comes from one sex and then find yourself with the aghast face when it happens to another. If violence is a bad thing in one instance, it’s a bad thing in ALL instances. The rule of thumb is “treat people how you want to be treated”. We have become a society of duality. So many of us live so far below the firmament we haven’t the foggiest how ridiculous we sound. We are ALL responsible for the quality of our own lives. We are ALL required to take ownership of how we walk in the world. What I see in this case is a women perpetually in a state of victim consciousness. She’s a bully, but it’s always the fault of somebody else. Her behavior is just as inexcusable as his. This isn’t a case of “blaming the victim”. This is a case of “blaming the consciousness.” In my opinion. Which is why so many of us are conflicted with this issue. So many PEOPLE don’t know who they are so much, that they perpetuate “the bullshit” in their own lives and then wonder why their loves suck so badly. Meanwhile, it really doesn’t matter the circumstances. Violence in any form and by whichever sex uses it in their power struggle is darkness. It’s always the way pedestrian minded folk sample from their limited emotional palate. LOVE is light. You can’t have darkness and light at the same time. You can’t have it both ways. Unfortunately for the attention hungry Lozanda– The bully got bullied. AND now she wants what Rihanna had–the world to feel sorry for her. She mimicked Rihanna’s speech to Oprah as much as she could. Which is beyond ridiculous. Meanwhile, Evelyn never has to take ownership for her own “the bullshit”. She hopes “Chad gets the help he needs”, but what about the help SHE needs? I’m defending neither of these beings. They’re both lost in “the bullshit”. The only thing that saddens me here is that there are ACTUAL women in ACTUAL abusive relationships who need ACTUAL help because they’re hiding for their lives in a shelter or enduring daily physical abuse from ACTUAL abuses that a head butt is made to sound as ridiculous as it is. Meanwhile, we’re focusing our attention on “the bullshit” that happens to be Evelyn and Chad’s ridiculous contribution to this planet and the conversations therein. To the author’s point, I don’t think the problem is that people lack humanity with Evelyn. I think the problem is where we’re focusing our energy in this debate. We’re having the wrong discussion. The TRUTH is NOT debatable BTW.
apologies for any typos.
I think the general misogyny in the African-American community can be traced directly back to the angry, ignorant little girls who have most of our babies and are raising most of our men. The bitterness expressed by this girl about the girl who replaces her in the affection of “her baby daddy” is generalized as contempt for all black women.