It’s been a somewhat long road from the time I had the idea to start Frugivore to where it’s now. I owe all of Frugivore’s success to our dedicated team of writers, editors, and photographers, but most importantly, I thank you, the readers, who have been helpful in your critiques and praise. We will continue to provide the content that helps us all gain more insight into the intricate world of health, fitness, nutrition, and environmental justice.

After starting Frugivore, one of the hardest transitions I have made is from the fitness world to the grind of publishing. With the late hours — editing, reading, writing — I have become almost completely sedentary. Since the inception of Frugivore a little over 18 months ago, I have gained over 100 pounds, bringing my body-fat percentage to a staggering 33%.

Here are my before and afters:

Gaining the weight hasn’t been hard but dealing with all the different aspects that accompanies weight gain has been depressing. Yes, depressing. Writing everyday about health and fitness while knowing that mine is failing makes me feel ill and like a hypocrite.

Worst of all, I became the vegan I swore I wouldn’t become: a starchaholic. Along with the fried tofus and vegan mac-n-cheeses, I consumed gallons of sugary drinks, which was the real health disaster.

Compounded with the loss of my best friend, Curt, who died almost a year ago at the age of 30 from complications due to morbid obesity, and coupled with the loss of my Aunt Jean, who died of cancer a week after I published the first post on Frugivore, I found it increasingly difficult to deal with my depression in a healthy way. I knew I was and still am dealing with the pain, but it took me almost 19 months to breakdown and ask for help.

I want to attribute my stubbornness to a destructive urge that Western masculinity and individualism implanted in me long before I knew what those terms meant, but, when I look deeper, I am struck with the only one answer: a lack of courage to embrace and accept love.

Thinking that I could write and talk away my pain through Frugivore has only left me more empty than ever before. My lack of love for myself has pretty much destroyed all my personal relationships, causing me to disappear further into my dark office, hoping that no one would ever notice my absence.

But the best thing about love is that it never dies, never gives up; it only rests until I’m ready to accept it.

So, after a few failed attempts to will myself off my food addictions, I turned to some of my colleagues for help. One in particular is an old friend I used to work with at Crunch Fitness in Buckhead, celebrity trainer Rahman ‘Ray’ Grayson a.k.a. Mr. Shut & Train.

Ray came up with a demanding set of cardiovascular workouts collectively called the 30-Day Cardio Challenge. It’s the fastest growing, FREE online movement that challenges thousands around the world to lead happier, healthier lives.

The Challenge will help you become a better you: physically, mentally and emotionally. You’ll receive a daily exercise in your inbox, as well as motivational messages that will inspire you to achieve success.

Now I’m half way through the challenge and I feel better already. You can follow my progress on this challenge every week in my journal, but, even more instructive, you’ll also be able to see what I’m eating and how I’m working out for the rest of this year. Additionally, Frugivore will be partnering with Mr. Shut Up & Train to bring you exclusive fitness articles and workouts.

So if you’re up to it, join me as I begin my weight-loss journey and start living healthier: mind and body.

And again, I thank you for supporting and reading Frugivore magazine.

around the web


  1. Good job Shane! Super proud of you for doing this and thank you for sharing your inspiring journey! You’re an inspiration to us all! I’m going to Shut up and go train today!

  2. What a brave and honest post. We have to self examine often and be honest about what we find, then take corrective steps to change and/or do better to be better. I wish you much success on your fitness goals and journey. Fitness is for life!!!!

  3. Damn, I never knew bruh. Good luck

  4. Sadly, I identify with everything you mentioned…the depression, the lack of self-love and the desire to be alone. All because of weight gain. I haven’t lost the weight. I have started, stopped, and started so many times now (to be healthy and fit) that I don’t even know how to begin anymore. :/
    However, I wish you luck on your journey to fitness.

  5. I know it takes a ton of courage to write this while serving as editor. Have you considered giving yourself to the Lord? His love is what you described earlier in this article. Just a thought and a prayer

  6. Shane, I have been following Frugivore since the beginning. I was beginning to think that you had sold it, because i felt as if it were missing your voice. But i “get ” it, and why you have been silent. I appreciate your honesty, and I am excited for your challenge.

  7. I admire you for this one, Shane. I can’t even articulate how dope this article is.

  8. Shane you’ve always made me proud to be your Mother, but your RAW honesty is what’s making me shout louder about my fabulous son’s success! You’re finanally getting out of your own way…

    Thanks for supporting and showing me how to live life as a healthier “DivaRed”

  9. Get it in cuzzo. Very honest post. I see you. Trying to get back to that August 2008 form, huh? Keep up the good work.

  10. Honesty is important but don’t be so hard on yourself. We all have trials and tribulations that we have to get through. Being there for the before and after makes me wish I could have been there for you during the in-between. But I’m glad you’ve finally found a healthy way to deal with things and I’m very proud. Thanks for sharing your story and good luck!

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