As the vegan movement continues to gain attention and momentum, it’s very interesting to see all the commentary both positive and negative that comes along with it. Specifically, there seems to be a lot of chatter that I’ve read — and even discussed myself — about whether, as a vegan, you are “unequally yoked” if you date and/or marry someone who is a non-vegan.
These types of conversations are very similar to those many people have about religion: whether it’s wise for a Christian to marry a Buddhist, for example. I know for myself, coming out of a relationship with a vegan man, it is quite difficult to think of adjusting to having a mate whose plate differs from mine, but I also know how much this limits my dating pool, considerably. I have opened myself up a bit on this point, with some parameters in place, but, for many, it’s no meat or no way in choosing a mate.
Most people understand the concerns one would have in marrying someone of a different religion, but, in the same token, they find it a bit ludicrous to have the same conversations surrounding what one chooses to eat. So, has veganism, in effect, become like another religion — an even more radical cult-like one at that?
I suppose it depends on what vegan you ask, I tend to take the less radical approach, but I would consider myself to be in the minority. In any event, I can see how it could be difficult for a vegan to marry or date someone that eats steak each night of the week. In the same way it would be difficult for a devout churchgoer to make it work with an atheist. I feel that in all relationships and dealing with people in general there should always be a give-and-take and understanding, but, choosing to be with someone whose belief system differs drastically from yours, whether it is about religion or meat-and-potatoes, can prove to be quite challenging and daunting to consider for many.
This becomes especially true if children will be part of the equation: should the children be vegan or not? This is specifically one to ponder if the woman in the relationship is vegan because the child will be fed a vegan diet via the mother during the pregnancy. On the flip side, I do know there are many people who are already married and one decided to become vegan and necessary adjustments are put in place to make it work for themselves and their family. I do believe that people take food very seriously and personally whether you’re vegan or not and most like to be able to break the “same bread” with their loved ones just as most would like to partake in the same religious activities.
So, what do you think? Do you think veganism has become like another religion? Are you a vegan who will only date or marry another vegan? Sound off in the comments and let us know your thoughts!
I beleive this website is really going to help me change my life (love and eating habits).
Thank good ness for my little young adult friend.
There’s already a dearth of the type of Black men I’d like to date, so, with that in mind, I wouldn’t limit myself by choosing to only date a vegan or vegetarian.
The man I get involved with needs to be a health conscious, vegetarian or not. And he needs to respect and support my dietary and lifestyle beliefs rather than pathologize them because he doesn’t “get it.”
I’ve never thought of vegans to be cult-like, but rather misunderstood, and occasionally over zealous.
As a vegetarian, I’ve often become more private about my dietary choices because of the negative and ignorant comments I’ve received. It amazes me how people don’t consider how their attitudes impacts how much others choose to share with them. Think here of gay individuals who remain in the closet because of homophobia. Same concept.
@MDA: I wouldn’t date a person who isn’t flexible about her plate. It’s ridiculous to think that I going to abstain from certain way of eating just to love someone. Veganism is cultish for this reason. It’s like saying I’m Christian and I won’t date a Muslim although we both believe in God
Veganism in itself does not require those who practice it to only date other vegans. That is an individual, personal choice that SOME vegans make. While I am personally am open to dating meat eaters, I respect those vegans who will only date other vegans as long they are not condescending about it.
Honestly, I think the vegans who will only date other vegans represent the minority of the vegan community.
Oh, and I don’t think anyone should have to change their dietary habits “just to love someone.”
We got a pretty good discussion going on about this over on the Lusty Vegan. Dating is difficult for every vegan I have ever spoke with–the majority of whom have never dated another vegan! Love your point about what happens when children become involved. Finding a compatible partner is hard, even before food politics enter the picture…
Check it out..
I’m not fucking with a vegan regardless. Vegans is like Christians – dogmatic & close-minded. Now, let me tell you why it’s not just the label but the lifestyle. Vegan and religious people both have foundation of make believe paraded as integrity. I’m all for my man saying he loves vegetables or fruit or tofu but once it’s no I’m never under any circumstance, that’s where I draw the line. My man has now convinced his mind that he knows the future, which he can’t, and he now has said to me, he’s not living in the real world, but some fake dream of harmony and compassion. Vegans kill me because they prioritize life. Bacteria is bad but cows are good animals that must be protected. Similar dogma you might hear from pro-lifer or homophobe who uses certain passages from the whatever holy book they subscribe to. I like this site in particular because there is something to raw diets and vegan diet but the lifestyle is a joke, a mind fuck much like religion, which I think we can all agree, is made up but there is truth all up in all the holy books. It’s not supposed to be taken literally.
@Jameisha: It’s ovbious you forgot about all the health benefits of a well-balanced vegan diet.
And Karma is a bitch… Eat dead animals and end up DEAD from eating dead animals.
@Dee Z. Nutz: There are health benefits to veganism as there is more truth in fiction and that’s why I read the Bible a lot. But I’m not going to justify fiction as fact.
Most people have no idea ow karma works because it’s far above our human minds comprehension levels at this moment. Plants are as alive as animals, so is karma coming after me for eating and using plants?
@Jameisha: You sound like your name is Jameisha.
@Ms. Information: Thank you for that. Really classy 😉
@Jameisha: I see your point. Nothing is perfect though
I’m an omnivore. Diets are similar to religions in that we adhere to what speaks to us. When it comes to religion and diets, I prefer to date women with an open mind. Don’t bother me on Sunday while I’m eating wings and watching football because its Sunday and I’m not in church or because I’m eating wings. I will pray with you at home and agree to a “Meatless Monday”.
I actually feel stuck in the middle. Though I’m omnivore, it’s easier for me to date a vegetarian than someone who orders a double cheeseburger topped with bacon and pastrami. I’m also not a big fan of sharing my food (order your own sweet potato fries, they’re charging me $8 and they only gave me 7 fries!) so it’s nice to have something that’s hands off to the person sitting across from me.
@Dee What is a balanced vegan diet? To a certain degree being a vegan is a luxury and privilege. Most people around the world are forced to eat what is produced locally and grown naturally in their IMMEDIATE communities. The wrong and rights of a “healthy” or more humane diet is subjective and arbitrary.
Beyond being vegan, I think this also relates to people who prefer to eat healthy vs. those who eat whatever. I’m not a huge meat eater but I’m not going to not date you if you eat beef and pork or don’t eat meat at all. Where we will have trouble is if you insist that the chicken you eat is ALWAYS fried or if the only veggies you eat is tempura style.
People have the right to eat whenever but then you have to think about if you have kids, which lifestyle is your child going to subscribe to? Probably the one that lets you eat cookies for every snack. I’m not trying to be about that life…
As a vegan, I wouldn’t have a problem with a non-vegan boyfriend. There’d have to be compromise (e.g. We’d cook with different utensils, I’d make foods that meat could be added to etc). So long as we’re similar everywhere else, ie religious beliefs, personality.