5. Wear inappropriate workout clothing.

How-To: I’ve covered this already but to sum up, be sure to wear your shortest, tightest and brightest outfits. Girls, you are aiming for a camel toe. Men, hammer pants are your best friend. And always show as much skin as possible.

Quick Fix: Ask yourself, “Would Madonna wear this?” If the answer is “yes” then take it off. Or invest in a really good friend who’ll tell you straight up. Last ditch effort, call your mom. We know things.

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One Comment

  1. Wear the most ill-fitting knee brace ever made. Pretend not to notice when it flies off. Even if it hurts. Bonus points if it smacks someone. EXTRA bonus points if it smacks someone in the face.

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