Whether you like group fitness or running solo through your neighborhood, the cool thing about exercising is all the opportunities you get to completely humiliate yourself. So it is with some trepidation I share my top ten ways to embarrass yourself whilst exercising. Because you know I’ve done all of these. Sigh. And because I love you all so much, I’ve included my tips for covering up your faux pas.
10. Snap yourself with a resistance band. (Jump ropes also work well for this and you get bonus points if you hit yourself in the face.)
How-To: Stand on the band while holding both handles. Next look down to check your feet positioning, just in time to see the band fly loose and smack you right between the eyes. Make sure to whip your head back, mutter a general purpose curse word and then try and pretend like it never happened – all while sporting a bright red hickey between your eyes.
Quick Fix: If you have to return to work immediately after, just pretend it was an eyebrow wax gone terribly wrong. Note: do not try to use “bikini wax” as an excuse. HR will not be amused.
Wear the most ill-fitting knee brace ever made. Pretend not to notice when it flies off. Even if it hurts. Bonus points if it smacks someone. EXTRA bonus points if it smacks someone in the face.