On Friday, you are taken to the ballet with Mr. Romantic. On Saturday, it’s your bedroom with Mr. Sexy, and on Sunday it’s the museum with Mr. Intellect. A different man for each occasion, all your needs are being met by entertaining different gentlemen. You tell yourself, since the perfect man doesn’t exist, you will make your own by getting what you need from several. This theory is examined in a CNN article entitled Every Woman Needs a Gaggle of Men. In the article, the writer is discussing information from a new book from Jessica Massa entitled, The Gaggle. Massa suggests that women should date a group of men that serve different roles in their lives. The idea is that, in doing so, this will bring you closer to the one ideal mate for you. It may also bring you closer to sleep deprivation and loss of sanity if not done right if you ask me.
In the article, Terri Trespicio, a dating and relationship coach, says:
“If you’re happily single but enjoy dating, she recommends seeing three different men regularly. “If you see two men, there’s often this unspoken need to choose between them. But three guys tend to balance each other out, like a tripod.”
It is also suggested in the article that dating three or several men does not automatically mean you must be celibate either. As long as you’re being honest with your partners and practicing safe sex, things should be smooth sailing.
Or should they?
All this may sound rather innocent and fun — and most will argue that men have been “gaggling” for centuries, so it’s time more women follow suit — but are there risks beyond getting names and dates confused that are not being considered? If you do decide on compiling a gaggle of men AND choose to be sexually active with each, are you putting yourself at a greater risk for sexual health concerns?
Just recently, Frugivore examined black women and the HPV virus. It is stated in the article that black women are 40% more likely to develop cervical cancer and 200% more likely to die from it than our white counterparts. Cervical cancer stems from a rare strain of HPV. According to WebMD.com, not all 40 sexually transmitted HPV viruses lead to serious health problems. The high-risk strains include HPV 16 and 18, which cause about 70% of cervical cancers. It is also noted on WebMD.com that you are more likely to contract HPV if you have sex at an early age, have many partners, or have a partner who has had multiple partners. It’s also important to be aware that the HPV virus can also be spread through contact with infected genital skin, mucous membranes, or bodily fluids. The virus can infect skin not normally covered by a condom, so using one does not fully protect someone from HPV.
So, knowing the statistics pertaining to black women and HPV and the ways it can be contracted, does having a gaggle of men that you are intimate with still an attractive notion? What if we remove the sexual aspect from the equation and just entertain the idea of dating several different men in order to get the best of all worlds? Perhaps you just decide to be sexually active with one of your suitors and keep the others at an arm’s distance. Is that realistic? Is it a safer bet to find true happiness in dating several men, be intimate with one (for safety’s sake) and forgo any idea or tradition that states otherwise? Is this the formula for happiness? Would this be the perfect “marriage” for you? We want to know your thoughts!