2. Carry your baby everywhere. Don’t be lazy and waste money on a $1000 Bugaboo stroller. Imagine how much weight you’ll be burning, carrying a growing baby on you 24/7. And if you aren’t a first time mom, carry your other kid or kids on you. Duct tape is excellent and offers a new way to do attachment parenting. With them duct taped to you, you won’t have the urge to take them off immediately when you start getting too lazy to carry that 10, 30, 50, 70lb extra of offspring. Duct tape hurts to take off anyway, so it will discourage you to do detachment parenting.

3. Do Pilates and yoga that is tailored for us postpartum period mamas. Everyone’s doing it and it will be assumed that you can and will do that same. It doesn’t matter that access to these exercises programs are $50 to $100 an hour or that they assume your are a white privileged suburban house mom who has the geographical and financial privilege to hire a personal coach. All you have to do is want it bad enough and manifest this reality and you’ll get it. Visualization is key to this. For example, my friend Grace Poor, an African American woman living in a food desert (no people, not food ‘dessert’) and makes $8/hr working in a factory with poor ventilation and lots of sexual harassment, gave birth last week. For some reason, she can’t do yoga or Pilates, even though I told her she just has to manifest it and want it bad enough. Yeah, she had to go back to work 3 days after giving birth and works two shifts in a row. But, whatever. I guess she’s just too lazy to manifest and visualize abundance.