I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach late Saturday evening as headlines regarding reality star Evelyn Lozada and Miami Dolphins player Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson flashed across my phone. “Chad Arrested For Hurting Evelyn,” one read. “Chad In Jail For Head Butting Evelyn.” another one alleged. I scrolled through my twitter timeline and saw snarky comments about Lozada from a few young women. “She probably deserved it, she’s always hitting someone, I bet she hit him,” one tweeter said. “She ruined his life!” another twitter user expressed. “Chad is another example of “Evelyn is mad over a box of condoms when she gave him permission to go out and get them,” another one stated.
It is true, Lozada did in fact give her husband somewhat permission to sleep with other women, as long as he kept it “one hundred.”
Still, no matter what the issue or what she said, that doesn’t give Johnson or any other man the right to ever put his hands on a woman. As I continued staying updated on social media sites I couldn’t help but notice the negativity that was flying Lozada’s way as many others “taunted” her that it was “karma” and that she was getting exactly what she deserved. Eric Williams, ex-husband of former Basketball Wife Jennifer Williams even got in on the action making fun of Lozada’s alleged bruises. Funny man Tracy Morgan got in on the action too, exclaiming “Chad Johnson is just another victim of a life being ruined by saving a hoe… Kanye you next!”
Many laughed at the statements from these celebrities weighing in, but I didn’t find it funny. Perhaps what saddened me most was how quickly I saw more people jump to Johnson’s defense than Lozada’s. It reminded me of the many times over the years we’ve heard of “our” celebrities getting into domestic altercations and some blaming the women. During the early nineties Robin Givens was given a bad wrap by the black community for being a “gold digger” instead of sympathy for being a victim of domestic violence. In February of 2009 many accused (and still do) pop star Rihanna of provoking her then boyfriend Chris Brown to hit her because she was a “crazy Caribbean woman.”
Earlier this year Pilar Sanders, estranged wife of NFL great Deion Sanders was called, “crazy” and “dramatic” when she claimed that Sanders had abused her. And even more recently Love and Hip Hop Atlanta star K. Michelle is consistently called a hater by viewers, social media users and even Toya Wright for her out cry that she was abused by a former boyfriend who allegedly continues to act like nothing happened.
It’s sad, pathetic even that so many forget that these women are more than celebrities, they are human first. Have we lost all sense of humanity and sympathy when we’re so quick to make fun and point the finger at a woman being at fault for being abused because we don’t “like” their public persona’s. Has it really come to that? I sure hope not.
We live in an age of twenty-four-hour social media where our children and the generation after us are watching our every move. We’re teaching them to what to accept and what not too with our words and especially our actions. Although we can’t always stop them from reading vicious media headlines or from seeing cruel statements on Twitter, we can certainly start with teaching them that LOVE does NOT hurt and that you should always have sympathy for any woman that has been abused in any way.
Let’s do better, for not only ourselves, but for our babies too.