I just finished reading a fitness magazine (The one with the lady in the bikini on the cover. No, not the bikini-clad girl on the bike. Or the one on the beach. Or the 20 standing in the water. The one with the bikini-clad girl standing in the water by the beach BUT wearing a hat because, well, it’s summer? Yep, that one.)
And when I got to this page, I just about fell off my Little Tykes picnic table, I was laughing so hard. I love this ad because it is the mold from which all supplement ads are created from. And that mold is so utterly ridiculous. But the biggest problem I have with supplement ads is the total lack of backstory.
So I made one up for you. Enjoy:
Buff Man: Oh hello! What are you doing here?
Set of Boobs With Blond Wig: Lil’ ol’ me? I’m just wandering around in the desert!
Man: But you are wearing nothing but a bra and booty shorts.
Boobs: Isn’t this what everyone goes hiking in? Or maybe I just felt like taking off my clothes. I have a feeling I’m not wearing shoes either! Actually I might not even have two legs! Golly!
Man: Now that you point it out, I think I have no legs.
Boobs: What you are missing in legs you make up for in hairless muscle though!
Man: Excellent point! I am so chiseled that I will power the bike with my pectorals. I must rescue you and take you to safety! Good thing I ripped off my shirt – I can use the reflection off my glistening abdominals to signal a rescue ‘copter!
Boobs: Or our teeth!
Man: In the meantime, hop on the back of my two-wheeler and I’ll give you a pump.
Boobs: Did you just offer me “a pump”? Never mind. Your mountain bike even has pegs? You must do this a lot.
Man: More than you’d think, actually. I just need you to pose at an awkward angle with your hand covering my left nipple. Don’t worry about the right one, it got photoshopped into a shadow. Now: I’ll get you down this mountain!
Boobs: But wait, I haven’t seen the pinnacle of perfection yet!
Man: Don’t worry – I have a pinnacle of perfection right here!
Boobs: Did you really just say that?
Man: Geez lady, I’m talking about this protein bar! What did you think I meant?
Boobs: Oh. Just shut up and pedal. They’re not paying you talk.
Man: Yeah well they’re not paying me to actually ride this bike either, are they?
Boobs: At least we have this protein bar to keep us going until the rescue ‘copter shows up.
And … scene.
Anyone else perpetually amused by supplement/protein powder/bar/drink advertising? Do you have a fave? Anybody else like to make up dialog for complete strangers?