2. Sweat in funny places.
How-To: Wear a sweat-showing color like gray. Make sure your clothes are as tight as spandex-ly possible. Add a great cardio class or a super intense weight session and viola: sweat in places other than is generally considered socially acceptable like your pits, or chest if you’re a dude. I won’t detail all the embarassing places that sweat stains can appear – you know what your personal sweat-print looks like.
Quick Fix: Gym Buddy Allison has a clever technique. She wears two tank tops layered over one another. The bottom one picks up the sweat while the top one stays fresh and dry. My fix? Kick it up a notch and sweat so much that it all blends together into one big stinky mess. Which is probably why in all our pics, she’s the cute one and I look like a drowned rat.
Wear the most ill-fitting knee brace ever made. Pretend not to notice when it flies off. Even if it hurts. Bonus points if it smacks someone. EXTRA bonus points if it smacks someone in the face.