3. Be a bad sport.
How-To: Have “a spot” in group fitness classes and smack anyone who comes into your personal space. Spit into drinking fountains. When somebody lifts more than you mutter, “Too bad I strained my shoulder of I’d totally whup you.” Never clap. Never smile. Don’t share. But nobody can explain this concept better than this guy. Watch him, in the Olympics, kick a ref in the head. Banned FOR LIFE from competing.
Quick Fix: Don’t be that guy. (Or girl.) Just don’t.
Wear the most ill-fitting knee brace ever made. Pretend not to notice when it flies off. Even if it hurts. Bonus points if it smacks someone. EXTRA bonus points if it smacks someone in the face.