5. Wear inappropriate workout clothing.

How-To: I’ve covered this already but to sum up, be sure to wear your shortest, tightest and brightest outfits. Girls, you are aiming for a camel toe. Men, hammer pants are your best friend. And always show as much skin as possible.

Quick Fix: Ask yourself, “Would Madonna wear this?” If the answer is “yes” then take it off. Or invest in a really good friend who’ll tell you straight up. Last ditch effort, call your mom. We know things.