6. Fart or otherwise smell bad.

How-To: So many methods, so little time. You may recall my laundry error that landed me in this boat but there are many roads to this same end. I encourage creativity. For you outdoorsy types stepping in dog poo at the beginning of your run is good. Make sure to get it all stuck in the tread on your trail runners. And if you need a how-to on farting then I’ll have to refer you to an expert. Please proceed directly to the nearest 12-year-old boy.

Quick Fix: The universally accepted method is to just pretend like you don’t smell anything. One step better is to stand in front of a fan and hope that it blows the scent away from you. Best? Spray on half a bottle of your favorite drug store perfume/cologne because everyone loves Charly as much as you do.

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One Comment

  1. Wear the most ill-fitting knee brace ever made. Pretend not to notice when it flies off. Even if it hurts. Bonus points if it smacks someone. EXTRA bonus points if it smacks someone in the face.

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