9. Get stuck. Preferably in some equipment.
How-To: Pick a piece of equipment you have no idea how to use, walk confidently over to it and set it at max weight or speed. Now don’t be a wuss, if anyone offers you instruction, tersely wave them off.
Try not to scream as you are folded like an overstuffed burrito. If you need ideas, start here. Overachievers, you’ve got this baby.
Quick Fix: As soon as you have extricated yourself (assuming you can), mop the sweat off your face and say loudly, “Man, that was good! Good burn! Yeah!!” That way people will think you meant to do it.
Wear the most ill-fitting knee brace ever made. Pretend not to notice when it flies off. Even if it hurts. Bonus points if it smacks someone. EXTRA bonus points if it smacks someone in the face.