Some cranky adults have it out for children and their freakish idolization of toys.  Some geniuses in the Nebraska legislature want to ban toys that accompany fast-food happy meals.

In a Bloomberg News report, the measure (LBJ 126) by state Senator Bill Avery, who is endorsed by the Nebraska Farmers Union and Nebraska Farm Bureau, wants to prohibit toy giveaways from meals that “have more than 500 calories or in the case of breakfast meals, 400 calories. Meals with toys also could not have more than 640 milligrams of sodium and must contain at least one cup of fruit or non-fried vegetables.”

Sorry kids, the most nutritional part of your meal is being taken out because some old man wants to stop you from playing with your food.  Seriously, this measure should not only be laughed out of Nebraska state politics, but Avery should be escorted out by Buzz Lightyear and Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Avery says that he is committed to solving the nation’s “food-related” obesity epidemic, and the change will start in Nebraska.  Avery was quoted as saying, “It’s not about taking away kids’ toys.  It’s about, for the first time, seriously addressing the epidemic of childhood obesity in the state of Nebraska.”

Sir, with all due respect, your bill is about taking toys from kids.  If you rediscovered that Play-Doh invented in the 1950’s, maybe you can see the connection between the food kids eat now, and the clay you may have eaten in elementary.

I guarantee if you added high-fructose corn syrup and MSG to Play-Doh and sold it at a fast-food joint, no one would recognize the difference.

Hey Senator, how about pushing a bill to subsidize farmers in Nebraska so they can grow more than just corn, wheat and soybeans and still make a living.  That seems like it would make more sense considering that most of the meals that are causing the problem consist of corn, wheat, and soy.

Better yet, maybe ban Monsanto’s toys like Round-Up Ready Genetically Modified Organism (GMO) seeds, or make sure those apocalyptic Terminator seeds never reach Nebraska.

But, I understand, legislators would then have to take their fight up the food chain, and that never works, so I guess they will continue to take their fight down to the people who cannot defend themselves–children who come from parents who have no choice because of their economic lot in life.

Round of applause for the distinguished Nebraska state Senator, Bill Avery.